No.4 - Stoke and the Peruvian Primera Division

One of my lowest punting moments is a tale of risk, bravery and hunger. It is not so much a tale, but more a short story. A Mills and Boon not a Chaucer. I was 3 days away from my student loan coming through and had only 60 fine shiny silver British pence to my sorry name. I was by no means Dickensian poor the rats of industrial Manchester did not nibble on my street ravaged toes as I slept between a set of big red Biffas. No I had a roof over my head and stealth like sly access to flatmates food so I was not without a paddle.

But I was in a rather bad way. Pride prevented me from calling the cornerman, so I did what all wise, wanting, believers would do and headed to the nearest fruit machine. Now I realise this was not the most sensible thing to do but the thought of upgrading a packet of ramen noodles to maybe a microwave lasagne was a chalice worth punting for. The thought of losing the 60p only occurred to me afterwards. But those 3 spins were worth it. Imagine if I’d pulled it off.

That’s how I feel about this betting quest – I may not reach the top of the hill but I will definitely enjoy the walk.

The weekend just gone was a quiet punting affair as I was moving flats in London town and could not commit the time to do it properly as I was busy unpacking cables I did not know I even packed and hanging up clothes I know I will never wear. What a thankless task unpacking is. But I had one bet to brighten the day backing the Sensible Sturdy Stoke at home to the Wobbly Wavering Wolves. That was my only bet, placing £20 at evens. I nipped quickly into a nearby coffee shop with my laptop at 3.30pm to see how I was getting on. At 1-0 up I stuck with the order of blog no.3 ‘rules and discipline’ and laid the bet off. £15 if Stoke win even if anything else.

The woman behind the counter looked at me as if I had done a wee in her dishwasher, I didn’t have time to buy a drink I just wanted a little piece of internet. Its only wifi after all you can’t steal wifi especially if it’s floating around flaunting itself in front of you. I offered to give it back to her when I left, which I thought was funny at the time. She didn’t. If anybody accuses you of stealing their wifi just accuse them of allowing their wifi to trespass.

Jody Craddock ruined the Stoke punt for me somehow managing to wangle a draw for Wolves at the Britannia. Please though I don’t blame him he was just doing his job but it did inconvenience me somewhat. But I laid off so simply broke even. Stoke have been somewhat of a banker of late, and I think 2.62 away at Hull next weekend looks very good. But maybe I’m being blinded by Pulis vision, that Tony is on his way to joining my list of other great Tones. Along with Tony Dorigo, Tony Hart and Tony Adams. Due to artistic differences Tony Blair, Tony the Tiger, Tony and Guy, and Toni Braxton will not this year be shortlisted.

Stoke did really bail me out the week before last. I was playboy punting thinking I was Billy Big Time as I had won a few little pounds, the problem of a healthy punting pot is that it arms you with a false sense of confidence.

But fortunately I spied Stoke away at Tottenham trading at 8.4 on Betfair and put a speculative £5 on it. I wasn’t sure that they would win but I thought they would put up a good fight plus it was great value. Excitedly and luckily they popped up with the winner with 5 minutes to go. Happy lucky days. You see the good thing about a healthy punting pot is that it arms you with a false sense of confidence.

So after the last two weeks trading I was another £20 up. Which is not a lot, but I got very close to being down so I’m quite happy. I now have 91.3333333% to go.

But I am back doing it properly now, I am all moved in and have spent this evening wandering the streets of London to buy an aerial for my set top box so I have uninterrupted access to Midweek Champions league and Saturday Sir Stelling (I’m not sure if it is illegal to call someone a Sir when they are not – but he is very good).

Not only is it Champions league, FA Cup and Haye vs Valuev at the weekend. There are also some tasty fixtures in the Peruvian Primera Division on Wednesday. Oh yes.

I have been having a look at placing my first global obscure punt and I believe I have found a very nice little double at bet365. Chalaco FC at home to Allanza Atletico at 1.8 is a great bet – I think. Chalaco FC have slumped down the league with three away defeats in a row but they return to the Miguel Grau stadium this week where they have a good record. Home form seems to be a massive advantage in the Peru Primera Division, as Chalaco showed impressively beating 2^nd in the league Huancayo 5-1 when last at home. With league top scorer Richard Maria Estigarribia in fine form i think them Chalcao lads will take some beating as they look to change their luck.

I would double this with Huancayo at home to Coronel Bolognesi at 1.6. Huancayo beat the Italian warlords 7-0 in this fixture last year, the Bolognesi lads did manage a 2-0 win at home against Huancayo this year but I think the home advantage will be enough for Huancayo to win. To check out global football leagues and stats have a look at soccerway.com.

Wednesday 4th of November, Double:- Chalaco and Huancayo @ 2.88 with bet365

I quite like this Peruvian don’t know what your doing punting, it is all part of the debt slaying journey, more part of the journey than the debt slaying bit. But I’ve got that optimistic 60p feeling,I just hope I don’t go hungry this time.

No.3 What a smug little punt

Rules and more rules, that’s what I need in this debt slaying journey. To build red tape not tear it down, these things are there for a reason. I need to set guidelines and coin theories and philosophies and not punt on a whimsy. For all concerned that will be my last use of the word ‘whimsy’ in this blog – I’m not even quite sure what it means.

So discipline is the order of the day, and to be honest I’m getting quite into my betting rules, they are a bit like the ten commandments but a bit less wordy. I’m finding they help to govern those silly gut feelings that say put Notts County in your Accumulator. When you know you really shouldn’t.

Alas I arrive at my first rule. The Sven rule, it goes a bit like this.

“Don’t back Sven.”

I’ve always found the sex craved Swede to exist in a cloud of disappointment. I have no reason to dislike the bloke; he just seems very beige, a tad magnolia, slightly grey, an off shade of taupe – just not much about him. Therefore I’m not touching Notts County this season, not with that pesky Swede around.

But a man I would trust with my sister if I had one is Tony Pulis, that dapper gent has built a fortress at the Britannia Stadium, which is making punting very fruitful indeed.

I fancied Stoke at home to West Ham the week before the game and could have got on at 2.36 with our good friends at Betfair. I expected West Ham to struggle, especially with their key man Carlton Cole returning from international duty, and no Scott Parker. But on the day I got on at 2.10, which I still thought was a good bet. But it shows if you can pick something out the week before lump on and take the value. Then pray that James Beattie does not get injured playing golf or Pro Evo.

I then doubled this up with my second new rule, the….

If I played for Plymouth and had to trek up to Blackpool I don’t really know if I would fancy it rule.

It turns out that Plymouth away to Blackpool is only 8 miles shorter than an away tie between Gillingham and Dusseldorf. I quite like this travelling logic, it doesn’t always work and it is by no means foolproof, but it’s enough to sway a wandering mind.

I also had an over 2.5 goal treble which was only let down by Liverpool and Sunderland – if only there had been more beach balls playing I say. But I did not lose, oh no. I traded and got out. Backing the treble at 5.0 and laying off Liverpool over 2.5 at 4.7 so happy days. I must admit I felt very smug protecting my dinero.

Saturday was followed by Sunday, as is tradition, and my punting ears were truly pricked. I donned my punting position in front of the TV and listened to the pre-match build up for the Blackburn Burnley game, which turned out not to be much of a crowd puller in my house as I watched it alone.

The Pre-match commentary discussed how David Dunn had been drumming into the Blackburn foreign contingency the value of this game, so I expected a leg snapping assault from the Rovers. I was more shocked to see they were 2.00 with bet365 for the first yellow card against Burnley at 1.6. This seemed wrong so I got involved and doubled it up with over 2.5 goals at about 4.9.

The first card did go to Rovers but it wasn’t for a sword wielding challenge, it was for an over exuberant celebration from young Di Santo. Lady luck was truly straddling me.

So all in all a good weekend, £10 into £40 and the little pot from £50 to a respectable £110. I now have about 92.666667% to go.

I am though getting a bit nervous; I have had a good few wins. My pot is whispering at me saying lump me on. My betting balls must grow. I think this week I will settle down for a proper consultation with the Cornerman, in you I trust Cornerman. My good friend Chris is luring me in with horse tips, but Christopher is neither a jockey nor a horse so I will leave his tips for now. But thank you Chris.

At first sight, I fancy over 2.5 goals in the Arsenal and Tottenham game. I also fancy Burnley Draw no bet at 1.81 with betfair, and a cheeky punt on over 1.5 Red Cards in the premiership this weekend with Skybet at 2.2. There are derby games and relegation battles and hopefully some good old fashioned grappling and brawling. Who knows maybe Di Santo will score at Chelsea and celebrate with a kung fu kick to the chops of Ashley Cole. Who knows? Stranger things have happened, ask Pepe Reina.