No.5 - Double Darren Disaster

I have sadly realised that I had more money when I was born than I do now as a fully employed human being. Because at least when I was born to the world I had nothing – now I have minus. My last few weeks punting have not helped, I had such a disastrous weekend the week before last that I booked in a little weekend off scrupulous punting and headed to Manchester for some fine dining (kebab) and social frolicking (Fallowfield).

As I type this I am sat in first class train dining on my way to Leeds. This is not behaviour of a man with little dinero. But the train was rammed reservations went out the window and Kings Cross became a melee of luggage, prams and nob heads. So I skulked into the restaurant, which apparently doesn’t cost you any extra, you just have to get some food. Well I maybe just about to become the first man to make a bread roll and a Stella last about two hours. I could buy the lamb chops as well but then I could also feed the population of the Isle of Wight for the princely sum.

So back to punting. My big bet the week before last was in the Chelsea Manchester United game. I backed United to get the most cards and Darren Fletcher to get booked anytime at 3/1. Now if you watched that game you will understand my disappointment.

Darren Fletcher was like a crazed Yorkshire terrier scurrying around and nipping at ankles and occasionally booting them for good measure. How he did not get booked I do not know, I have never wanted a man to get booked more in my life. My only logical confusion for his card less game is that he is in fact having an affair with Martin Atkinson. Yes you heard it hear first.

To rub salt in the wound (whatever that means but I think it fits here) the booking points was a draw, a simple yellow to Darren would have made everything OK and my bread roll that I have nearly finished could actually be accompanied with the appropriate bowl of soup.

Other Great British pounds were lost on over 2.5 goals in the Tottenham Sunderland game, where another Darren let me down missing a penalty.

Curse all you Darren’s I say, except Darren Anderton though as I always felt sorry for him with his injuries and large horse like head. In short I found myself chasing my tail punting to make up for punting. My pot took a bit of a hit; I am back down to £80. Or £30 up from the initial £50. Half full or half empty?

I have a confession though I did put some bets on xfactor before it started. Serious punters I apologise I realise this is selling out and shameful but its not like Sir Patrick Moore reading his star sign. I had a frugal squirrel balled £2 bet on John and Edward at 100/1. They are now trading at about 16’s and I am now their biggest fan – who dare say they can’t sing they are merely misheard.

But real world punting resumes this weekend I fancy an over 2.5 goals double in the Burnley vs. Aston Villa game and the Sunderland vs. Arsenal game you can get this at about 2.96 on bet365. I think I will go all out with this on Betfair and trade if I get a bit nervous.

The result of this will determine if I have a punt on Sunday in the Stoke game. It may also determine if I eat next week.